Wired is reporting that a professor at the National Defense University (am I the only one who didn’t know there even was a National Defense University?) gave a presentation on virtual worlds which included a fictional scenario of how terrorists might use the raid lingo of World of Warcraft to disguise a plot to blow up the White House.

I am nearly baffled beyond words.

Who in their RIGHT FRAKKING MIND would assume that terrorists would go to the trouble of disguising their work in some elaborate code within WoW’s chat system when they have things like–oh, I don’t know–cellular phones and text messages? What moron would think that fighting NPCs in a DIKU game is *ANYTHING* like blowing up people in real life? How detached from reality would you even have to be to consider this even remotely likely?

Okay, I’ll grant you that if, while nosing around in Second Life, you notice that someone has built a scale replica of Washington and is testing ways to blow it up, it’s worth looking into. But I can guarantee you that Osama Bin Laden has not avoided capture because he’s in his mom’s basement farming boar skins in Hellfire. I’m shocked that there isn’t a slide in this presentation insisting that Chinese gold farmers are just a cover for military strategists plotting a full-scale invasion of the US.

The best part is that WE PAID FOR THIS. With actual tax dollars. If I can find any upside, it’s that it may be possible to write off my WoW subscription by noting on my tax return that it’s being used in the War on Terror.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to monitoring the trade channel in Ogrimmar. WE CAN’T LET THE TERRORISTS WIN!

Usually I know better than to listen to Shwayder’s stupid ideas, but he somehow managed to convince me to work together on a podcast. The first episode is up now. Called Massive Guys on Massive Games (the title being the only clever thing about it), its saving grace is that we will keep our episodes to ten minutes or less. So while it’s a waste of your life to listen to it, it’s only a very small chunk of your life that you probably won’t miss anyway.

The broadcast is hosted over on Nerfbat. Subscribe to future episodes (which, on the bright side, can only get better) via the feed. Or just download the damned thing here.

I recommend you go here, wherein the brave Lum takes on Prokofy Neva (which, I believe, is a Soviet name), who in turn proves that you can write lots and lots of stuff at multiple blogs and still not make a damn bit of sense.

Read as far as you can into the comments. I mean, it’s like watching Springer, but without the cleverness.

There are days I wish I was slightly higher on the schizophrenic scale, because I feel I could be a much more prolific blogger if I was simply bat-shit crazy. Alas, an overly rational mind is my downfall.

Prokofy Neva is the perfect example of what happens when you try to use the Internet to prove you’re smarter than other people. You. Never. Stop. Posting.

As a result, I present Ms. Neva with the first annual Moorgard.com “Keeping it real” award. Well done!