On one side of a room, imagine a realistic drawing of a mushroom. On the other side of the room, imagine a realistic drawing of a human penis. Now imagine a line connecting them which is made up of similar drawings, each becoming gradually more stylized.  Somewhere along that line, the mushroom will become indistinguishable from the penis.

I’m convinced that there are some game artists for whom the ultimate quest is finding that point. I can’t explain why. But somebody needs to come up with a name for this phenomenon.

Money well spent!

Turns out she was right!

Have you ever actually browsed your junk email folder? Sure, there’s nasty virus-laden stuff you need to watch out for, but some spammers are including a wealth of inspired writing in their messages that a student of modern poetry can’t help but find captivating.

Check out this gem, found in a message entitled “Restore your organs ability and productivity now”:

but let me tell you thats not how it will really go i imagine most kids will want to stay home and play computer games but their moms will make them come and so theyll grudgingly put on a some church pants and skirts so i was wondering if you could help me know how to bring the romance back into our modern life its not really that important no matter the dress or the menu we just want the kids to come to feel the spirit of the temple but its like you said anne when you dont use your imagination to make life beautiful how much you miss what an adventure it is

Marvelous! This passage has a stream-of-consciousness quality to it that I admire. I knew many would-be poets at university who had no hope of matching such majesty.

Later in the same email, the author shifts focus to a new subject framed in the context of modern life:

breakfast i always have two eggs and salsa always i dont really get sick of it and it would really stink if i did because theres not a lot out there for breakfast actually when you are at your ideal weight and ovulating regularly you can have any kind of whole grain hot cereal without a problem you know steel cut oats etc i am not quite there yet berries and grapes are pretty low on the glycemic index and i have those too oh and i love cottage cheese with fruit grant and i listened and danced to his music on valentines day

Fascinating! As an audience, we are enthralled by the narrator’s candor on her eating and ovulation habits. Yet it is the hint of romance at the end of the passage which truly captivates us, leaving us to wonder as to the identity of “grant” and the mysterious composer of the music to which our protagonist danced.

This modern epic draws to a close with yet another slice-of-life observation:

do you have to be obsessed with yarn and needles and hooks like i am to think that is the most inviting little space youve ever seen when cate is too scared to go downstairs penny will go with her and everything is all right she lets cate dress her up for weddings or try to ride her or pull her by the tail almost daily and even knowing the torture she will soon endure she gets so excited when cate gets home from school

Using yarn and needles as metaphors for our fear of institutions such as weddings and school is beyond brilliant. You’d be hard-pressed to find social commentary of this caliber among today’s published so-called poets.

I hope you’ll realize that a wealth of reading wonder awaits in your junk folder. It is perhaps the ultimate irony that beauty and thought of this quality is being relegated to the trash bins of modern culture. The future of our society is alive and well, not within the cold walls of the classroom, but inside the nurturing womb of the spam filter.

Some days are just crappier than others. (Watch the video too. The police chief can barely keep a straight face.)

There are two kinds of people in the world: Letterman people and Leno people.

Jay Leno is a funny guy, and he has bits that make me chuckle, but I mourn where he’s taken The Tonight Show from what it once was. This television tradition now feels like a bowl of bland jello, and it remains to be seen if Conan O’Brien will be able to restore any of its former glory.

David Letterman, to me, is the heir to the great lineage of talk show tradition. It’s ironic, because in his NBC days he was seen as the reckless young agitator, but today he is the elder statesman. Though he’s taken on a more conventional role in some ways, he’s now in a position where he doesn’t have to care what other people say or do.

If you need any evidence that Letterman is at the top of his game, witness the train wreck that was last night’s interview with Joaquin Phoenix. In one of the most bizarre and uncomfortable moments ever seen on television, you can observe Letterman at the beginning of the interview almost debating whether or not to swoop in for the kill on this actor who is obviously just completely gone. It doesn’t take Dave long to decide, what the hell, I’m going for it.

Check out the full interview below, and this page has other great moments from Letterman’s past that have him serving as ringmaster for some mind-bogglingly odd television moments.

Kotaku goes into a nerd rage over this video, but I must be getting old. Maybe I’m just used to gamers and geeks being misunderstood and stereotyped by the mainstream media, but I actually found the piece funny and charming.

Yeah it would have been more fair to compare gamers to other social groups that share a unique jargon (the military, cheerleaders, musicians, scrapbookers, or, you know, every other freaking social group in the world), but at least the reporter wasn’t attempting to create a deep investigative piece here.

Kotaku is right about one thing, though–nobody needs to go looking for a DK these days.

This is how I talk to Shwayder on a daily basis. It’s called management skills, people! Get off Batman’s back already.

I don’t ask for much from you, gentle readers. Really, I don’t, especially compared to the amount of  joy I bring to your lives.

So I hope you will take the following request seriously.

I need you to go here and sign this petition. Don’t ask questions. You don’t need to know why. Just do this for me.

If the total hits 50,000, we’ll call it even.

Over on the SOE blog, my friend Tracy posted her hazy recollection of how she and I began working together.

She insists that the soda story is true, though I cannot verify it. Honestly, until I was told that a designer named Tracy would be sharing an office with me, I always assumed she was part of the cleaning crew.

As for her reference to throwing an owl at my eye, that is absolutely true. It happened shortly after I’d dropped three grand on lasik surgery, and so immediately following the incident I began plotting my revenge. But eventually her manic charm wore me down and I decided we could be friends instead.

Everything she says about what a joy I am to work with–also true.

Tracy references an upcoming book for which she and I collaborated on a chapter, but I’ll wait to pimp that until it actually exists and you can add to my $.001 royalties by purchasing a copy.

Anyway, I thought I’d post the song she references, as I still think it’s a classic.

That’s What a Fae Can Be